Let’s just be honest here. I have some things going on in my life that, well, to be frank, suck. My mom has been diagnosed with lung cancer with mets to the liver. I never in my whole life thought this would happen to my mom.
It has been a year of ups and downs with a lot of uncertainties and quite honestly, a time where people have shown their true colors – good or bad. And it is not that anything is good or bad, it just is what is is. I have a lot of opinions on this and I am sure I will get to them, but not today.
My mom has been so strong through all of this. I have never seen her break down, although it would be completely normal if she did. Maybe she has her bad moments when we (her kids) are not around. Or maybe, she really is Super Woman. Either way, I am so proud to say I am my Moms Daughter.
Unlike my mom, there are times where I feel overwhelmed, which is also completely normal. I am not a bad person or a weak person for having feelings or crying. As Washington Irving put it, “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”
I try to stay positive, because my Mom, the Super Woman, has been able to knock this demon out more than once. That little lady can put up one big fight…thank goodness she is on my side, I wouldn’t want to be up against her. But one night, I was just overcome with all my feelings of anger, hurt, pain, frustration. I could not help myself. I let it all out. All of it. I just wanted to get in bed, take a handful of Excedrin PM, and forget these horrible feelings I was having.
I woke up the next day like I always do…and followed the exact same pattern I do every weekday morning.
Get up and walk straight to my office, turn on the light and I reached to turn my first computer on. There, on the computer screen was this:
I went to turn the other computer on, and there was another note.
The overwhelming sense of feeling cared about took me over. I sat in my chair and cried because my husband had been so thoughtful. He was trying to cheer me up.
As the computers started, I once again followed my normal path straight downstairs to get my Dr. Pepper out of the refrigerator. And what did I find? Another note. Oh God. Here come the tears again. Could Mel have been any sweeter?
I went upstairs, worked for 30 minutes, woke Betsy up, then went to my bathroom to take a shower. I looked in the mirror and saw this:
More tears…I don’t know what kind of tears. Tears from happiness, tears from thinking “Oh Thank God someone can see I am in pain,” I don’t know. But my heart was swelling from the ultimate kindness Mel could have shown me.
I proceeded to finish getting dressed and after Betsy was dressed we walked to the front door and once again I started crying because there was another note:
I don’t know if Mel will ever know just how much that meant to me. I think it was the nicest gift he ever could have given me. I know he doesn’t consider it a gift. He did it because he wanted me to feel better. To me, it was a gift of love. A gift that I will hold close to my heart always.
If you don’t think taking the time to do something small has any effect on people, I am telling you that you are wrong.
I am also telling you, I will fight this demon by my moms side with every bit of strength I have. She is a fighter and she can shove this demon where the sun don’t shine…I know she can. And I intend to be there for every minute helping her with this fight. She can do it.
And if she cries…its ok. And if I cry..its ok. It brings us more power.
Look out cancer….you don’t know who you are messing with.