Let’s just be honest here. I have some things going on in my life that, well, to be frank, suck. My mom has been diagnosed with lung cancer with mets to the liver. I never in my whole life thought this would happen to my mom.
It has been a year of ups and downs with a lot of uncertainties and quite honestly, a time where people have shown their true colors – good or bad. And it is not that anything is good or bad, it just is what is is. I have a lot of opinions on this and I am sure I will get to them, but not today.
My mom has been so strong through all of this. I have never seen her break down, although it would be completely normal if she did. Maybe she has her bad moments when we (her kids) are not around. Or maybe, she really is Super Woman. Either way, I am so proud to say I am my Moms Daughter.
Unlike my mom, there are times where I feel overwhelmed, which is also completely normal. I am not a bad person or a weak person for having feelings or crying. As Washington Irving put it, “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”
I try to stay positive, because my Mom, the Super Woman, has been able to knock this demon out more than once. That little lady can put up one big fight…thank goodness she is on my side, I wouldn’t want to be up against her. But one night, I was just overcome with all my feelings of anger, hurt, pain, frustration. I could not help myself. I let it all out. All of it. I just wanted to get in bed, take a handful of Excedrin PM, and forget these horrible feelings I was having.
I woke up the next day like I always do…and followed the exact same pattern I do every weekday morning.
Get up and walk straight to my office, turn on the light and I reached to turn my first computer on. There, on the computer screen was this:
I went to turn the other computer on, and there was another note.
The overwhelming sense of feeling cared about took me over. I sat in my chair and cried because my husband had been so thoughtful. He was trying to cheer me up.
As the computers started, I once again followed my normal path straight downstairs to get my Dr. Pepper out of the refrigerator. And what did I find? Another note. Oh God. Here come the tears again. Could Mel have been any sweeter?
I went upstairs, worked for 30 minutes, woke Betsy up, then went to my bathroom to take a shower. I looked in the mirror and saw this:
More tears…I don’t know what kind of tears. Tears from happiness, tears from thinking “Oh Thank God someone can see I am in pain,” I don’t know. But my heart was swelling from the ultimate kindness Mel could have shown me.
I proceeded to finish getting dressed and after Betsy was dressed we walked to the front door and once again I started crying because there was another note:
I don’t know if Mel will ever know just how much that meant to me. I think it was the nicest gift he ever could have given me. I know he doesn’t consider it a gift. He did it because he wanted me to feel better. To me, it was a gift of love. A gift that I will hold close to my heart always.
If you don’t think taking the time to do something small has any effect on people, I am telling you that you are wrong.
I am also telling you, I will fight this demon by my moms side with every bit of strength I have. She is a fighter and she can shove this demon where the sun don’t shine…I know she can. And I intend to be there for every minute helping her with this fight. She can do it.
And if she cries…its ok. And if I cry..its ok. It brings us more power.
Look out cancer….you don’t know who you are messing with.
Your husband made me cry. That is so incredibly thoughtful and sweet for him.
You are cared for by a lot of people Katie.
Alison recently posted..Why Shouldn’t I Spank My Child?
Yea…he is very sweet….Thanks Alison……
I don’t often cry when I read a blog post, but I had to stop more than once and wipe my eyes so I could continue. Your husband gets hugs from me today for being so kind and loving to you.
My father died of cancer in 1992. It was all so fast–he was diagnosed during the week of Halloweeen and died the week of Thanksgiving. We were all stunned that it could happen that fast. There was no time to prepare. I hope with all I have that your Mom can beat this.
Karen recently posted..Who Loves Chocolate?
Thank you so much Karen….for everything.
Your husband is a sweetheart! I know what you mean about the little things – they really are the biggest gifts.
I am so sorry about all that your family/mom are going through, and I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. She sounds like my dad – quite the fighter!
By the way – that first picture of you “girls” is just wonderful – what a beautiful family!
Jen-Eighty MPH Mom recently posted..Easy Crab Wontons Recipe
Yes..The little things are important.
Awwwwww that is soo sooooo sweet!!!!!! I love you Katie!
Not So Average Mama recently posted..The Veil, a Novel for Young Adults
🙂 Thanks Brandy – Love you too!
Aww, what a sweet husband you have. Your post has my in tears.
My husband sometimes leaves me little notes, so I know how you feel when you received them. 🙂
Stefani recently posted..DreamWorks Real Steel Movie Review, Trailer & Giveaway
What a sweet guy. Sometimes it is the little things that have the MOST profound effect.
Kim @ What’s That Smell? recently posted..Extreme, unique and bizarre Jack-O-Lanterns
This is so sweet!
Lindsay recently posted..I want to be a _____ when I grow up.
What a sweet sweet man you are very blessed!
Candace recently posted..Wordless Wednesday – Three Years Old
What an amazing husband. I swear a woman can be super woman when she has 100% support from her family and most importantly her husband. The little things do matter. Hugs to you and your family.
Thank you…I totally agree….
What a beautiful, beautiful gift… This post made me cry. What a special man….praying for you and your mom.
Rachel – Following in my Shoes recently posted..Sometimes The Perfect Picture Just Happens
This made me cry…What a beautiful family you have.
This has brought tears to my eyes.. What a sweet and caring hubby you have. May God watch over you all and I pray that your mommy will pull through this.. HUGS.
Shop with Me Mama (Kim) recently posted..Charting Your Fertility With OvaCue (Review and A Giveaway!)
What a perfect way to show you he cares (and that he knows you so well too). <3
Karen of 3G2S recently posted..Give Old Children’s Furniture New Life & Function with IdeaPaint Dry Erase Paint
Good husbands make life bearable during the hard times…lean on him. I lost my father to lung cancer 23 years ago. I still miss him every day. Cancer does suck and you and your mom have every right to be angry. Here’s to hoping a better outcome for you but if not, know that you are loved.
Sadly as I get older I’m realizing more and more that death is a part of life, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Connie
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Katie my heart aches for you, but I am thankful you have Mel by your side. Once again your heartfelt words brought tears to my eyes as well. Your post also brought memories of my mom’s fight with lung cancer who is now 10 years cancer free. The evil ‘C’ we see all too often!
I just want you to know you I, HTH and many others love you dearly and if we could take the pain away we would. If you need anything at all, you know where to find me!
Focus on your mom and let Mel, GOD and others take care of you! Godspeed and power prayers from yours truly,
Stacy
Thanks Stacy…I really appreciate it.
That is so sweet. It doesn’t always take much. But those simple notes spoke volumes about how much he loves you. You have a keeper there!
Rachel recently posted..Wolfgang Puck Cold Brewed Iced Coffee Giveaway
awwww katie i just saw this post, it brought tears to my eyes too 🙁 just how sweet and thoughtful he can be 🙂 makes me glad he’s my brother in law 🙂
🙂
It is hard to know what and when to say to someone at times like this. You (with your blog) and Mel covered it perfectly, showing all of us how to “just love” each other, to be there, the best medicine in the world.